I was born in Calcutta and adopted at three years old by a single woman from Utah. I have no memories of India at all and when I applied for a visa to come here was surprised to learn that I had to first renounce my Indian citizenship. I never knew I was still an Indian citizen.

Amy has a big,beautiful infectious smile, with eyes that invite you to engage. When I asked if I could interview her she readily agreed. I’ve been curious about the motivation for so many young Europeans and Americans of Gujarati origin to come to Ahmedabad to live or work at Manav Sadhna for extended periods of time. But Amy’s story is a bit different because she grew up in the non-Indian, very white Mormon culture of Salt Lake City.

My mother was a non practicing Mormon, as were her parents. They enjoyed a lifestyle of cocktail parties and country clubs. My mom felt that she shouldn’t have to be married to have a child and was liberal minded. She picked me out from an orphanage photo.

 

Amy’s upbringing was filled with the love of her mother and grandparents, and when asked if she experienced any racism growing up, she replied simply “No”. I was surprised and pushed further. ” Maybe my mom sheltered me from that. When I was a junior in High School someone called me a “Nigger”. I told them I was Indian.” Amy’s mother exposed her to Indian culture as a young child and had a mural painted in her bedroom of Amy riding an elephant amidst landscape scenes of India. Four years later her mother asked if she would like to have a brother or sister, and soon after a boy from Bulgaria was added to the family.

Unfortunately this idyllic childhood ended with the untimely death of her beloved mother when Amy was twelve. Her mother’s niece and husband, who were childless, came to live and care for the two motherless children. Trying to cope with the loss of her support system Amy turned to the Mormon church. The idea of being “sealed”with her mother for life ( a Mormon ritual)was very comforting .

Sealing is the everlasting covenant from God to families that we will always be together eternally. All married couples are sealed to each other with their children being born into the covenant, but when a couple adopt a child, they take the child with them to the Temple for a sealing ceremony..

She had been spending almost all her free time with the local Bishops family as well as other practicing Mormons, a way of escaping her less than happy home-life. Becoming active in the church was a natural consequence. Although her family were “inactive” Mormons, Amy was baptized at eight according to Mormon practice.

For the next twenty years Amy was the ideal Mormon. She didn’t drink, smoke, practiced purity in thought and action and attended Church regularly. She never questioned any of the tenets of the religion. All that changed in 2008.

Amy’s brother had a much more difficult time adjusting to his new home, having lived with his mother only a few years before she died. He turned to drugs and alcohol and had a tumultuous youth. They lost touch for many years. When one day he called and said he was clean and sober, and had found a homosexual lover, she was delighted for him. The church up until this point had been vague on their position on homosexuality, and left the handling of the issue to local leaders. Meanwhile, Amy had been experiencing doubts about her own sexuality and began seeing a therapist. The legalization of same sex marriage in California in 2008 made her curious to learn more about homosexuality.

In 2015 when the Church came out with their official position on same-sex marriage, Amy was at this point identifying as a lesbian.The handbook stated that children of same-sex marriage could not be blessed or baptized until age 18 and at that point had to renounce their parents in order to join the church. The policy also states that those in same sex marriages would be considered apostates, a category that includes murderers and rapists.This was the final straw. It was time to leave.

I strongly believe in God because of my adoption story and other spiritual experiences I’ve had throughout my life. I also believe I will be forever with my mom and grandparents with or without the Church’s teachings. If the LDS Church reversed their policies on homosexuality I’d be an openly gay member. I still believe in the tenets of the church but I am also learning to have more faith in the universe, that I don’t need to worship in a church or temple. I can be close to God anywhere.

I’ve always known that my life was a miracle and lived it as such.