-Sister Helen

India has long been a magnet for those seeking a spiritual path. My travels have exposed me to varying degrees of religious fervor, which has been a source of  both wonder and enlightenment.

I shared a sleeper compartment with Sister Helen while traveling from Goa to Kerala. She wore a light colored Salwar Kameez ( a traditional tunic and pants set worn by Indian women) and looked very much like any other middle aged Indian woman.By the time Gerald and I arrived  she had already been on the train for twenty-six hours, coming from Mt. Abu in Rajasthan. I thought it odd that she was alone but it was only after we struck up a conversation that I found out she was a nun.

A traveler in Asia gets used to the typical questions asked of a stranger “Are you married?” “Do you have children?”When I asked those questions of her, she pulled out a large crucifix hanging on a long gold chain that had been hidden underneath her Dupatta (shawl) and said “I’m a nun.” She went on to clarify that she was a “sari nun”, one who wears traditional Indian clothes rather than a habit. The Salwar Kameez was her traveling outfit because it was more comfortable for train travel.

That same evening upon arrival at our guesthouse in Kannur, a tall European woman with a shaved head was sitting at the dinner table.Her burgundy and orange robes revealed that she was a Tibetan Buddhist nun. She introduced herself as Sonam Laamu (Goddess of Merit), the name given to her at ordination in Bodhgaya about a year ago.

This got me wondering. What motivates a woman to dedicate her life to religion? A desire to serve God, personal unhappiness or lack of fulfillment in their lives? Were they content with their choice years later? Two nuns in one day following divergent paths. Both had an ethereal aura of peacefulness and joy which was manifested in their serene smiles.

Sister Helen went to Catholic School and at a young age decided that she wanted to be a nun. I asked her if it was because of her devotion to God.

No. I knew I wanted to be a nun at fifteen but Daddy wouldn’t allow it. When I heard that nuns serve people and do good deeds I knew that’s what I wanted to do. My Daddy forbade it and said that I had to wait until I was twenty-one, finished school and got a job. He was hoping by then I would change my mind. But I didn’t and at eighteen I left home to join a nunnery. For four years he wouldn’t talk to me. That was hard.”

She has been a nun for thirty five years and is Mother Superior at a Catholic Girls schools in Mt. Abu. Educating young girls and giving them a chance at better lives is what brings her the greatest joy. When asked if she regrets not getting married and having children she answered quickly.

Not at all. Men are too much problems, and being with one man your whole life, no no. And children? I am happy teaching them but not having to take care of them. I have no regrets. I am living my best life.”

Soonam Laamu came to her decision much later in life, at age 30, after having lived a very normal life in Germany. On an earlier trip to Sri Lanka she first became interested in Buddhism. It was in 2004 when she went to India with a friend, after breaking up with her boyfriend with whom she had been living, that she became introduced to Tibetan Buddhism. The attraction was immediate.

I knew right away that this was for me. Tibetan Buddhism was the first type I encountered in my travels ,but it just clicked. I stayed in a nunnery in Dharmsala for eight years.”

In the interim she learned to read and write Tibetan. In Germany she was a Speech Therapist, and while living in the nunnery was asked to work with a young Tibetan boy who had speech impediments.

I asked her the same questions I posed to Sister Helen. “Is there anything that you miss from your old life and how do your parents feel about your choice?”

It’s been fifteen years since I decided to devote myself to Tibetan Buddhism.My parents were skeptical and worried at first, I’m any only child. But now they accept it. I don’t really miss anything. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but the only thing I miss is dinner.You see we only eat breakfast and lunch and sometimes, only sometimes, I wish I could eat dinner. Other than that I don’t miss anything at all.  I love being a nun.

 

“THE TRUTH IS ONE, THE PATHS ARE MANY”